Can't Help NOT To Worry

This is meant for me to vent out my anxiety towards my soon-to-be final presentation to the HR staffs in shell. Well, it's a matter of employment or not for me; something which I can't help not to worry for since the first day I entered Shell.

My supervisor and colleagues are undeniably great people who will lend you a hand when you are tangled in difficulties, helpless situations and some crap moments you might have with other people. But, what's driving me crazy is they expect me to know something clearly which at some time, I might not know.

And working with caucasians, there's always the risk that they will compare you with the Europeans/American back in their country, forgetting that we are those typical Asians. For Asians, we are shy and we don't talk much crap when on the phone. On fine example I came across would be when I visited BSP with Andy from the state.

Usually, when the Asians make a phone call, we always start with a simple hello and straight into the point without beating around the bush. But, for the caucasians, they will go like "hey, how have you been doing? How's your wife Marie?......" and they go on with some spice of their life for like 5 mins then only they go into the purpose of their calls and stuffs. In this case, they will either said the Asians have no manner or shy or not proactive.

Or in some other case, when you are at work, the best thing would be do not let your bosses catch you chit-chatting with friends at the corridor. This is one common thing where all Asians avoid pretty hard. Let the boss see that they are digging into their works passionately and not letting them having the chance of catch them bullshiting at the corridor. But, if your boss is caucasian, you might have to do it the other way round. Need I say more? Because for them it is like "wow, you are having some serious discussion with the engineers..." and etc etc.

To sum it up, I might be too general or stereotype in this. But what I want to say is, it is difficult to please everyone in the same cubicle. Some expect you to be like this, some expect you to be different than that.

My message to whom it may concern would be: You have secured a job in Shell. Now, it's my turn to get my best shoot. If I fail this time, I will be hindered from applying shell for the next 2 years which is a big thing I tell you. So, please. You know seeking for employment nowadays is difficult and please don't screw with me. Be a good Samaritan, let me pass otherwise I will just hope that Karma will hit you back soon.

Yes I know this sounds desperate but who won't be at this point? Go die if you are not.