What define Friends?

I attended my cousin's violet wedding in KL during the weekend. It was really beautiful and many touching moments. What touched my heart was her vows to the husband in front of the priest and the guests. 

One particular sentence which imprinted in my head was "wee loon, my friend, my love."

"My friend, my love."A simple four words phrase but contains powerful meaning. The husband for her, is her best friend whom she can share all her happiness and down moments with, with no boundaries. She can cry hard on his shoulder, hug him tight enough out of happiness, share whatever she wants be it knowledge or silly things, knowing that he will always be there for her. Because of this reliance and dependence, there comes love and then marriage. 

But what brings me to deeper thought is the word "friend".

I know true friends are difficult to look for, what's more a close and sincere one? Me in particular, has been difficult in making new friends because of the first impression I always give people without fail - The "lansi" or so called ignorant look, which was out of my intention at all. I was born this way, with this look. Then because of this, people start making judgement that I'm proud, not easy to approach, and this and that, which was really UNFAIR for me. 

People start making judgement before they even know me.

Yes, I do have some really really good and close friends whom I treasure. There are also friends whom I was once so close with during high school, then because of studies we were drifted apart, then slowly become some kind of awkward friends whom we do not have topics to talk about when come to whatsapp and face-to-face. When I made an effort to reconnect back the bonds and see no mutuality, I gave up.

I vented out my problem to my close friend and the bf. They told me it is normal. Friends change with age, with environment, with interest, with location. One cannot have MANY good friends, they can only have either one or two and that's enough. =/

I need friends, whom when I talk to him/her about my problems he/she is sincere enough to be my listener. I do not need friends with masks, they are so fake. 

Then again, it is never easy. 

p.s: i'm good, just some thoughts.